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Thread Tools |
31st March 2008, 21:23 |
#11
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Mania Member
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31st March 2008, 21:25 |
#12
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Mania Member
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Quote:
"what, what, what happened to my old gramophone is that broken?, i hear a very annoying sound instead a mozart's classic"? hueheuuuheheuuhe |
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pengangguran kelas welter (kadang nganggur, kadang gak) |
1st April 2008, 01:35 |
#13
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Medal Winner
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Just a short conversation ...
Who find America????? TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA : Here it is! (pointed at North America's picture on the map) TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS : Maria! |
Spoiler
All My Life I Have Known Who I Am, A Troubled Girl But I Stand
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1st April 2008, 09:25 |
#14
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Addict Member
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allow me to share...
British airways flight to Baghdad A British air ways flight was going to Baghdad from London. When it gets close to Baghdad it starts having some kind of trouble. The pilot contacts the air tower at Baghdad airport and asks for help "Baghdad, this Captain Smith, British Airways flight 000, do you read?" "Flight 000, dis iz Baghdad felight contorol, go ahead" "Baghdad, this is flight 000, we have a problem" "Dis iz Baghdad, vat kind of peroblem?" "This is flight 000, we have lost power to our engines, please advise" "Dis iz Baghdad, i reed you, peleez check some things for me, ok?" "This is flight 000, go ahead" "Dis iz Baghdad, can you get emergency pover to your engines?" "This is flight 000, negative, no power is available" "Dis iz Baghdad, can you peleez brring your altitude to 20,000 feet?" "This is flight 000, negative, our wing controls do not respond" "Dis iz Baghdad, can you peleez see if you can lower your veels?" "This is flight 000, negative, landing gears are stuck" "Dis iz Baghdad, Aztaggga-Firula Ul-Azimmm. ...would you pleeze repeet thez words after me" "This is flight 000, go ahead" "Dis iz Baghdad, repeat thez words peleez: Ashado Allah IllaHaIllallah, Wa Ashado anna Mohammadan rasullul Allah" Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Rojiun........ ROTFL |
1st April 2008, 13:13 |
#15
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Addict Member
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here is another one..
An Old man was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: DAMN YOU SON -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!! kek kek kek |
1st April 2008, 13:51 |
#16
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Addict Member
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and another one..
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit." The doctor replied, "My point exactly." ugh that hurts he he he |
1st April 2008, 14:08 |
#17
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Mania Member
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Quote:
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1st April 2008, 14:24 |
#18
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Mania Member
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Jamily: How Do U Know? I think that's exactly what my gramps will say
Noodles Rai Rai: The kids were right. Maria is Columbus's great-great-great-great-great-great-....... Grand Child Darrel: British Airways Joke >>> OMG! hahahah.... An Old Man n Son Joke >>> OMG! *chokes on lunch* hahahah A 90 year Old Man Joke >>> Ouchh... Thank you Guys,,, You made me laugh |
...... Where words fail .... Music speaks
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1st April 2008, 15:46 |
#19
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Mania Member
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Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, 'I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, 'I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. ' She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.' So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, 'The bastard used coins!' |
1st April 2008, 15:56 |
#20
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Addict Member
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This is hilarious guys, they're things people actually said in court, word for word, enjoy...
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteen. Q: What year? A: Every year. --------------------------------------------------- Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. --------------------------------------------------- Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? --------------------------------------------------- Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Did he kill you? --------------------------------------------------- Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? --------------------------------------------------- Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true? --------------------------------------------------- Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? --------------------------------------------------- Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? --------------------------------------------------- Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? -------------------------------------------------- Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you? A: I went to Europe, Sir. Q: And you took your new wife? --------------------------------------------------- Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? --------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. --------------------------------------------------- Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. ha ha ha check mate!! |
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