NPD NARCISSISTIC PERSONAL DISORDER di Indonesia

[vhilek.ololeho]

APA ITU Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder itu apa?

NARSIS versus NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER (NPD)

Narsis dan NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), istilahnya dua polar atau kutub. Yang satu (NARSIS) di kiri, KADAR-nya DIPERLUKAN sebagai manusia, selama kadarnya PAS, bisa diartikan sebagai percaya dengan kemampuan diri sendiri. SEDANGKAN NPD di sisi kanan, ketika kadarnya sudah TERAMAT BERLEBIHAN dan dianggap tidak "normal", sebagai PERSONALITY DISORDER (gangguan kejiwaan). Walaupun, apakah "normal" itu? Yang seperti apakah normal itu?

Menurut para ahli juga di buku Karyl Mc.B., para NPD mustahil atau tidak dapat disembuhkan. Yang terbaik adalah meninggalkan relasi atau hubungan apapun dengan para NPD. Kalau tidak memungkinkan, jalan terbaik adalah membentengi diri dan memperkaya ilmu mengenai karakter NPD sehingga dapat "membaca" jalan pikiran dan sudah siap dapat menangkis taktik mereka.

Buku yang saya sarankan bagi kaum awam dan pemula adalah : Will I ever Be Good Enough, karangan Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

Untuk YouTube, Karyl memiliki beberapa video singkat, search words nama beliau.

Video lain yang menurut saya baik dicerna ialah dengan search words : lisa a romano narcissist (narcissist ditik supaya langsung ke video-video dengan penekanan pada isu NPD).

Thread ini dibuat sebagai wadah sharing pengalaman, ide buku-buku, video, dll.

Semua orang berhak hidup dengan damai dan bahagia.

source : http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com...mother-survey/

Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality disorder. Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's book.

(Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she try to top the feeling with her own?

3. Does your mother act jealous of you?

4. Does your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

5. Does your mother only support those things you do that reflect on her as a "good mother"?

6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your mother?

7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes you or loves you?

8. Does your mother only do things for you when others can see?

9 When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce) does your mother react with how it will affect her rather than how you feel?

10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

11. Does your mother deny her own feelings?

12. Does your mother blame things on you or others rather than own responsibility for her feelings or actions?

13. Is or was your mother hurt easily and then carried a grudge for a long time without resolving the problem?

14. Do you feel you were a slave to your mother?

15. Do you feel you were responsible for your mother's ailments or sickness (headaches, stress, illness)?

16. Did you have to take care of your mother's physical needs as a child?

17. Do you feel unaccepted by your mother?

18. Do you feel your mother was critical of you?

19. Do you feel helpless in the presence of your mother?

20. Are you shamed often by your mother?

21. Do you feel your mother knows the real you?

22. Does your mother act like the world should revolve around her?

23. Do you find it difficult to be a separate person from your mother?

24. Does your mother appear phony to you?

25. Does your mother want to control your choices?

26. Does your mother swing from egotistical to a depressed mood?

27. Did you feel you had to take care of your mother's emotional needs as a child?

28. Do you feel manipulated in the presence of your mother?

29. Do you feel valued by mother for what you do rather than who you are?

30. Is your mother controlling, acting like a victim or martyr?

31. Does your mother make you act different from how you really feel?

32. Does your mother compete with you?

33. Does your mother always have to have things her way?

Note: All of these questions relate to narcissistic traits. The more questions you checked, the more likely your mother has narcissistic traits and this has caused some difficulty for you as a growing daughter and adult.

/////////////////

Untuk yang mungkin ngerasa jleb atau mrebes mili waktu baca list di atas, welcome to the club of the daughters of Narcissistic Personality Disorder mother.

It's not you. You are not crazy. It is your mother.

Atau mungkin juga NPD Mother in Law.

///////////////

Dari buku Karyl McBride, NPD mom kalau :

- Anaknya cewek semua, salah satu Scapegoat daughter, salah satunya lagi Golden child.
- Anaknya cewek cowok, bisa dipastikan yg cowok Golden child, yang cewek Scapegoat daughter.

NPD mom ada 2 tipe perlakuan ke Scapegoat daughter :

1. Sebagai NPD Mom yang super kepo, super posesif. Tiap detik tiap menit anaknya mesti lapor. Ikut campur dalam hal apapun walau anaknya sudah dewasa.

2. Sebagai NPD Mom yang super abandone anaknya. Mau anaknya ke mana atau mau gimana, enggak mau peduli. Si anak apa apa sendiri kaya enggak punya ibu.

Biasanya, Scapegoat daughter ketika dewasa, salah satu dari 2 kemungkinan :

1. Dari remaja abg pelarian ke drugs, nakal, menyilet diri, sex bebas, crimes etc, pelarian merasa diri tidak berguna, atau sebagai pemberontak mencari kebebasan. Di luar negeri, kalau anak anak ini enggak kuat iman, banyak yang memilih untuk bunuh diri.

2. Become high achiever yg sukses di segala hal,selalu berprestasi baik dan perfeksionis yang sangat bekerja keras dan susah merasa puas, sebagai akibat ingin membuktikan diri setelah terus menerus disakitin dan dianggap remeh atau dianggap enggak ada. Atau supaya dianggap bisa membanggakan, beharga.

Duaduanya kontras, yang satu keliatan sebagai sampah masyarakat, yang satu keliatan sukses, tapi dua-duanya sama-sama pedih batinnya.

Scapegoat, ketika jadi ibu, bisa ambil yg kontras dari NPD mom. Misal dulu ibunya tipe yang posesif, dia berpikir, enggak mau jadi ibu yang sprti itu, tapi malah jadi NPD mom yang ignore abandone anaknya.

Atau sebaliknya, yang dulunya ibunya ignore abandone, setelah jadi ibu, malah jadi yang posesif.

Dua-duanya tidak baik. Harusnya balance. Di buku Karyl, bab-bab terakhir, dibahas sedikit tentang menjadi ibu yang balance. Mencegah terjadinya silang kontras si Scapegoat daughter maunya berbuat yang beda, kontras dengan yang NPD mom buat dulu, tapi malah ya sama-sama NPD mom jatuhnya. Scapegoat daughter masih bisa dicegah supaya enggak jadi NPD mom, baik yamg tekniknya sama maupun yang milih teknik kontras.

Sedangkan Golden child, yang anak perempuan, udah pasti jadi NPD mom yang akan re-create mamanya dulu, ke anaknya, kalau ini sudah susah dicegah. Karena gak akan merasa salah, secara ibunya, NPD mom, perfect, dan dia, NPD mom's daughter the Golden child yg perfect.

Si anak laki the Golden child, biasanya dapat istri yang NPD, karena merasa bertemu sosok yang mengingatkan pada "ibu", berasa home-y. Si anak laki ini akan jadi NPD father juga, secara dia tumbuh di golden golden oleh ibunya, dibilang perfect. NPD man bisa juga enggak dapat istri NPD, kalau ayah dia yang NPD dulunya, atau dia lebih kuat dominan.

Scapegoat daughter juga harus hati hati mencari pasangan hidup, karena bisa jatuh hati dengan NPD man, atau NPD mother in law, karena merasa home-y. Atau belum terkuak serigala berbulu dombanya. karena, kalau jatuh ke lubang yang sama, hidup dengan NPD man, atau NPD mother in law, apalagi ada NPD sister in law, akan mengulang "derita" yang sama yang dulu dialami ketika hidup dengan ibu NPD.

Copy dari page 13

Kalimat-kalimat yang dikatakan NPD ke orang lain, terutama korbannya/scape goat nya, tapi sebetulnya mirror lagi ngomongin yang dia sendiri rasakan:

1. Jadi kamu pengen dipuji-puji gitu? Disanjung-sanjung seakan kamu yang paling wow, paling berharga, paling istimewa?

2. Jadi kamu merasa kamu harus selalu dispesialkan? Selalu harus berbeda dari yang lain? Harus jadi yang paling diperhatikan?

3. Sudahlah, memang saya tidak berguna, apa-apa yang saya lakukan memang bukan apa-apa, tidak ada apa-apanya. Di mata kamu/kalian semua saya memang tidak berguna.

4. Setelah semua pengorbanan dan kerja keras yang saya lakukan, begini timbal balik dari kalian? Kalian perlakukan saya seperti ini?

5. Kamu pengen banget yak terkenal? is a superstar wannabe ? supaya semua orang di dunia mengenal dan menyanjung-nyanjung kamu?

6. Iya deh kamu yang selalu benar. Selalu merasa benar sendiri. Satu-satunya yang paling benar, yang lain salah semuanya.

7. Kamu selalu punya alasan. Tiap berdebat selalu ingin jadi orang yang terakhir yang bersuara. Selalu ingin merasa benar. Selalu ingin menang sendiri, merasa menang.

Biasanya korbannya/scape goatnya akan menjadi bingung, karena justru NPD lah yang seperti itu, tapi menuding scapegoat seperti itu. Kalau terjadi terus-menerus, scape goat bisa lumayan jatuh mentalnya, walaupun tadinya "normal" atau kuat. Apalagi kalau scape goat ini masih kecil/remaja, atau sudah dewasa tapi belum melek ilmu dan info tentang karakter NPD. Akan terus merasa ada yang salah dengan dirinya dan merasa bingung, ada juga yang sampai bisa kehilangan jati dirinya yang semula, ketika NPD terus-menerus melakukan tindakan yang salah satunya berkata tapi sebetulnya mirror dirinya sendiri.

///////////////

to be continued ..

[asya_2207]

Makasih jeung leho, udah dibikinin trit nya. Mungkin emak2 bisa copy paste yg udah di share seblumnya di trit tante bintang2 ke sini?



Buat yg ngalamin,
STAY STRONG AND MAY GOD GIVE YOU ABUNDANCE OF LOVE <3

[vhilek.ololeho]

Sama-sama, asya_2207

Feel free untuk quote tulisan or komentar dari trit, ke sini. Misal komentar-komentar Leho juga, silaken di-quote (takutnya Leho enggak sempat nge-quote tulisan Leho sendiri di trit itu, bisi sibuk hehe). Feel free.

Originally Posted by asya_2207

Makasih jeung leho, udah dibikinin trit nya. Mungkin emak2 bisa copy paste yg udah di share seblumnya di trit tante bintang2 ke sini?



Buat yg ngalamin,
STAY STRONG AND MAY GOD GIVE YOU ABUNDANCE OF LOVE <3

[cutiecuddly]

Ini pengalaman ijk setelah baca postingan Leho (copy paste dari yg udah dishare di trit sblh):

Mau donk ikutan kalo ada trit barunya.. baca2 ke blkg, jd ngebuka pikiran kalo ternyata my mom in law itu npd. Mau ngomong topik apapun pasti baliknya ke dirinya yg serba perfect, ga bisa bgt disaingin tmsk suaminya sendiri, semua pencapaian suami dan anak2 hanya karna jasanya dia.

Ijk sempet clash berat pas awal2 nikah karna kyknya susmi golden boynya dia dan bbrp kali mom in law nangis dpn suami kesannya ijk yg bikin nangis hanya karna sebab sepele lah, intinya dia pgn selalu dibutuhkan sementara ijk orgnya sangat mandiri. Duh untung lama2 kita berdua makin solid dan kebetulan tinggal jauh.

Setelah punya cucu dari kita jg persis cerita seseId di blkg, maunya sang cucu datengin dia dengan hangat panggil peluk dll. Anak2 ijk sangat peka yahh mrk cm bisa dekat sama orgtua yg tulus dan bisa konyol alias ga jaim, sementara mertu jaga sikap bgt, hobinya kritik dan nasehatin. Anak ijk yg cewe udah gede ga cocok aja dan mmg dari bayi kyk ga ada chemistrynya. Ini jg yg suka bikin kita ribut kalo mom in law berkunjung karna kita jadi tekan si anak utk dekat ke omanya tp susah (gak bisa).

Selama ini ijk pikir dese begitu karna pola asuh jadul dimana anak banyak dan dibuat seperti kompetisi antar siblings.. tapi ternyata baru tau ada hal lain..

Originally Posted by asya_2207

Makasih jeung leho, udah dibikinin trit nya. Mungkin emak2 bisa copy paste yg udah di share seblumnya di trit tante bintang2 ke sini?



Buat yg ngalamin,
STAY STRONG AND MAY GOD GIVE YOU ABUNDANCE OF LOVE <3

[asya_2207]

Originally Posted by vhilek.ololeho

Sama-sama, asya_2207

Feel free untuk quote tulisan or komentar dari trit, ke sini. Misal komentar-komentar Leho juga, silaken di-quote (takutnya Leho enggak sempat nge-quote tulisan Leho sendiri di trit itu, bisi sibuk hehe). Feel free.

Okidoki

Originally Posted by vhilek.ololeho

source: http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com...mother-survey/

Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality disorder. Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride’s book.

(Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

Spoiler

1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she try to top the feeling with her own?

3. Does your mother act jealous of you?

4. Does your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

5. Does your mother only support those things you do that reflect on her as a “good mother"?

6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your mother?

7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes you or loves you?

8. Does your mother only do things for you when others can see?

9 When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce) does your mother react with how it will affect her rather than how you feel?

10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

11. Does your mother deny her own feelings?

12. Does your mother blame things on you or others rather than own responsibility for her feelings or actions?

13. Is or was your mother hurt easily and then carried a grudge for a long time without resolving the problem?

14. Do you feel you were a slave to your mother?

15. Do you feel you were responsible for your mother’s ailments or sickness (headaches, stress, illness)?

16. Did you have to take care of your mother’s physical needs as a child?

16. Do you feel unaccepted by your mother?

17. Do you feel your mother was critical of you?

18. Do you feel helpless in the presence of your mother?

19. Are you shamed often by your mother?

20. Do you feel your mother knows the real you?

21. Does your mother act like the world should revolve around her?

22. Do you find it difficult to be a separate person from your mother?

23. Does your mother appear phony to you?

24. Does your mother want to control your choices?

25. Does your mother swing from egotistical to a depressed mood?

26. Did you feel you had to take care of your mother’s emotional needs as a child?

27. Do you feel manipulated in the presence of your mother?

28. Do you feel valued by mother for what you do rather than who you are?

29. Is your mother controlling, acting like a victim or martyr?

30. Does your mother make you act different from how you really feel?

31. Does your mother compete with you?

32. Does your mother always have to have things her way?

Note: All of these questions relate to narcissistic traits. The more questions you checked, the more likely your mother has narcissistic traits and this has caused some difficulty for you as a growing daughter and adult.

/////////////////

untuk yang mungkin ngerasa jleb atau mrebes mili waktu baca list di atas, welcome to the club of the daughters of Narcissistic Personal Disorder mother.

It's not you. You are not crazy. It is your mother.

begitu katanya, dan juga, ada NPD Mother in Law. maaf panjang dan lama, dan OOT wehehehehehey

///////////////

[tehsusu.anget]

Originally Posted by vhilek.ololeho

Narsis dan NPD, istilahnya dua polar atau kutub, yang satu di kiri, yang kadarnya diperlukan sebagai manusia, selama kadarnya pas, NPD di sisi kanan, ketika kadarnya sudah berlebihan dan dianggap tidak "normal". Walaupun, apakah "normal" itu? Yang seperti apakah normal itu?

Buku yang saya sarankan bagi kaum awam dan pemula adalah : Will I ever Be Good Enough, karangan Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

Untuk YouTube, Karyl memiliki beberapa video singkat, search words nama beliau.

Video lain yang menurut saya baik dicerna ialah dengan search words : lisa a romano narcissist (narcissist ditik supaya langsung ke video-video dengan penekanan pada isu NPD).

Thread ini dibuat sebagai wadah sharing pengalaman, ide buku-buku, video, dll.

Semua orang berhak hidup dengan damai dan bahagia.

source: http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com...mother-survey/

Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality disorder. Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBrideâÃà‚‚€ÂÂÂà ‚™s book.

(Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she try to top the feeling with her own?

3. Does your mother act jealous of you?

4. Does your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

5. Does your mother only support those things you do that reflect on her as a âÂà ƒÂ‚Ã‚Â€ÃƒÂƒÃ‚Â‚ÃƒÂ‚Ã‚Âœgood mother"?

6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your mother?

7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes you or loves you?

8. Does your mother only do things for you when others can see?

9 When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce) does your mother react with how it will affect her rather than how you feel?

10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

11. Does your mother deny her own feelings?

12. Does your mother blame things on you or others rather than own responsibility for her feelings or actions?

13. Is or was your mother hurt easily and then carried a grudge for a long time without resolving the problem?

14. Do you feel you were a slave to your mother?

15. Do you feel you were responsible for your motherâà‚€Â ™s ailments or sickness (headaches, stress, illness)?

16. Did you have to take care of your motherâà‚€Â ™s physical needs as a child?

16. Do you feel unaccepted by your mother?

17. Do you feel your mother was critical of you?

18. Do you feel helpless in the presence of your mother?

19. Are you shamed often by your mother?

20. Do you feel your mother knows the real you?

21. Does your mother act like the world should revolve around her?

22. Do you find it difficult to be a separate person from your mother?

23. Does your mother appear phony to you?

24. Does your mother want to control your choices?

25. Does your mother swing from egotistical to a depressed mood?

26. Did you feel you had to take care of your motherâà‚€Â ™s emotional needs as a child?

27. Do you feel manipulated in the presence of your mother?

28. Do you feel valued by mother for what you do rather than who you are?

29. Is your mother controlling, acting like a victim or martyr?

30. Does your mother make you act different from how you really feel?

31. Does your mother compete with you?

32. Does your mother always have to have things her way?

Note: All of these questions relate to narcissistic traits. The more questions you checked, the more likely your mother has narcissistic traits and this has caused some difficulty for you as a growing daughter and adult.

/////////////////

untuk yang mungkin ngerasa jleb atau mrebes mili waktu baca list di atas, welcome to the club of the daughters of Narcissistic Personal Disorder mother.

It's not you. You are not crazy. It is your mother.

atau mungkin juga NPD Mother in Law.

///////////////

to be continued ..

ka leho..

kalo dr questioner diatas ada 25lebih yg klop.
apa berarti mymom itu npd?
atau aku kudu ke psikolog dulu?

[elle.sebastian]

Halo, nanya dong kalau misalnya sesorang npd apakah mereka cenderung bipolar?

[mennma]

Mampir di trit leho sambil nyimak dulu

________

Mau curcol dikit ama leho ato temen temen disini kali aja bisa bantu

Gw kayaknya ada ganguan psikis , kalo lagi marah tu meledak ledak , emosi gak terkendali , trus abis udah luapin emosi beberapa menit gw nyesel ngapain marah marah,dan saat itu gw janji besok kalo ada masalah gak akan emosi duluan. Nah pas udah masalah datang tetep aja gw marah , hal apa aja yg gak cocok dirumah ato di kantor . Kalo bipolar setau gw bisa happy mendadak,marah mendadak,nangis mendadak

Nah gw ini termasuk gak bisa nangis .. apa jangan2 gw hilang rasa empati ya... gw hanya nangis kalo dikritik. Ada sodara meninggal gg gak nangis,ada farewell dikantor juga gw flat aja , putus cinta juga gak nangis

Duh sory panjang curhatnya , mungkin leho tau ini kenapa dan gw harus gimana

[pengacara.ke19]

Makasih banyaaaak leho. Akoh pada mo hahahaha

Walau nykp bukan NPD tp eike nebeng di sini yah sebagai korban child abuse dan scapegoat , skrg eike lg support sepupu eike utk bangkit dr depresi dan halusinasi. Bayangin deh kelas 3 SD udah nyoba bunuh diri saking desperate sm emaknya (tante eike)

[pengacara.ke19]

Originally Posted by pengacara.ke19

Makasih banyaaaak leho. Akoh pada mo hahahaha

Walau nykp bukan NPD tp eike nebeng di sini yah sebagai korban child abuse dan scapegoat , skrg eike lg support sepupu eike utk bangkit dr depresi dan halusinasi. Bayangin deh kelas 3 SD udah nyoba bunuh diri saking desperate sm emaknya (tante eike)

Koq ga bs edit sih. Maksudnya waktu dia kelas 3 SD dan skrg lagi tahap akhir S1